Pet Peeve No. 347549 November 30, 2006
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Uncategorized.trackback
Saying “So when are you going to let me take you out for dinner?” or “Are you ever going to let me buy you a drink?” when you’ve never asked me out.
How about if you actually ask me out instead of flirting with me and then insinuating that I haven’t let you take me out yet?
I have a job and a life and friends and plans this weekend. Seriously. Just ask me out.
Charming, but single 
I usually respond to that comment by saying, try asking me out and then we can see.
It’s just the chicken sh*t way of asking someone out – instead of “umm…sooo…you want to be my girlfriend?” ala junior high.
Not sooo bad.
The games me play. Grrr.
I hate that too! It’s like, if you’re going to ask me out, ask me out, don’t beat around the bush!
Sing it, sister!!
I’m in complete agreement. In fact, I recently contemplated a blog post called “Fuck Shy” that would vent about “shy” guys. I personally think it’s a bunch of crap.
You like a girl, you call. You ask out. Easy.
I’m with you girlfriend! I also hate when a strange guy comes up to you and tells you to smile. You know, maybe I’m too freaking tired to smile and they just annoyed me which makes it even harder to smile. Besides, do I have to walk around with a cheesy smile on my face to make these dorks happy? Ok. Sorry, just had to vent there.
Congrats, Charming! Sounds like you have a real date. Does that mean that we’ll get a real post?
Short sweet post and I agree with every word of it! 🙂
I think it’s halfway asking a girl out. If she says no, then she was never going to say yes, so it’s a good thing I didn’t really ask. Whew, my ego is OK.
My problem with asking in this way is it gives all the power to the woman in a very upfront manner “…are you going to let me…” this sounds like the guy is being allowed to do something he might not otherwise get to do. Needy.
Just ask her out guys, it’s not hard. Most women will probably say no (actually even if she says yes and digits are exchanged, it’ll probably never get to a first date), so it get’s easier. Ha.
Jim
oh man this is totally one of my pet peeves too! i hate it when the guy says stuff like “we should go out sometime” and i’m like yeah. and then he doesn’t just ask me so we can decide when exactly that sometime is. i think it’s just him being non-commital.
Atleast it isn’t “So would you like to buy me a drink?”
!!!
Like what is that?!!! hmmm… how bout NO? cheapo.
LOLOLOL Good point! I had never really thought about it that way. And not that anyone has ever said that to me.
It seems to me that the question, “when are you going to let me take you to dinner?” is actually the same as asking you out. In fact it is two questions in one, i.e. “will you go to dinner with me?” and “when?”. It appears that you would only have to respond with, “Saturday”, to have a date. Sorry, just a (male) logician’s input.
Love the blog by the way!
TP — You’ll get a real post when I’m good and ready to write one, dear. ;P
It’s all in the delivery – there is a big difference between the non-committal, this-is-just-a-hypothetical-because-I’m-too-much-of-a-wuss-to-come-out-and-say-it “When are you going to let me take you out?” and a clear, confident, upfront “Hey, would you like to grab dinner Saturday?”
I also can’t stand when you, the girl, are hinting at a date (in a flirty, playful manner) and he’s too dull or too scared (even then) to ask the question. I’ve had two guys pull that recently… (then one of them was whining that girls never “come on” to him!!!)
Okay, very true, he might as well just ask her out, that is frustrating on the females perspective, that’s why good answers like ‘are you asking me out?’ or ‘try asking me out first’ are perfect.
But maybe the female has been implying (possibility unintentionally) that’s she been busy lately, so maybe he has tried asking her out, how would you know? And maybe its just a way of figuring out whether she has time for him or not, not to be so direct with his intention (shy) in the case that she doesn’t, entailing that he’s unsure.
Now this question got me wondering about something else, let’s turn the tables around now, and a slightly different scenario too … how about if a female is trying to hint to the male that she would like to be asked out, would he be getting just as frustrated with questions like ‘we should go out for coffee sometime’ instead of a direct one like ‘would you like to go out for coffee?’, in hopes that he’ll ask her out first instead. Fustrated??
“Do you like me. Yes or No?”
amen, CBS!!!! this type of behavior falls under Wimpy, which i cannot stand.
Men: take your balls out of your purse and just ask us what we’re doing next saturday night. ask us if we’d like to go to dinner with you.
the. end.
she will either say yes or no. but if you ask in a confident way that implies you are truly into her, are willing to risk rejection and cannot wait to get to know her better and see if she will be your next girlfriend, your chances of getting a “yes” increase by about 35%.
this has been mathematically proven.
so that girl, the one you’d like to ask out–you should call her. or approach her. go for it. the more blunt, honest and confident you are, the better your chances.
i’ll stop now before this comment turns into my own post.
and to blonde71274– that is my biggest pet peeve in the world! thought i was the only one. drives me nuts. i want to punch them.
Go go girl,guys you hear stop beating the bushes and ask a woman out already.Amen!