Second verse, same as the first July 20, 2008
Posted by charmingbutsingle in My family is sure I will never marry.33 comments
I’ve been looking for a new place in a cuter neighborhood and my Mom offered to help me after she felt she’d reacted too severely to my description of one locale with a tone of voice that clearly implied, “If you move there, you will be harmed and then killed and then harmed.”
Her guilt was clearly an overreaction – after seeing the place at night I’d brushed it aside myself. But I was happy to have her tag along as I rode the blocks looking for available property, which is the only way to find a good place in this neighborhood. She drove and I took notes and made calls.
She’d mentioned the house across the street from my grandparents is available because the long-standing tenant was getting married and moving out. For years my Grandmother had pleaded with me to go across the street and introduce myself or go to his workplace and ask for assistance I clearly didn’t need. I was her granddaughter and my Grandmother reasoned that this alone was enough of an opening for the Across The Street Neighbor to marry me.
“I can just hear her now,” I told my Mom. Imitating my Grandmother: “If only you’d stopped by [His Workplace], he could be marrying you.”
We giggled as we drove past the perfect – perfect! – little duplex, which we suspected was occupied by the owner, who rented out the other half to help with the bills. The larger side was clearly better accessorized with nicer house numbers and a better mailbox and a Landrover parked outside.
As I scribbled down the contact information and busily e-mailed the landlord, her thoughts turned to other things. And before I could stop her – because, let’s be honest, I knew EXACTLY what she was thinking as she cooed about the duplex.
“Hey, that’s a really nice-looking place. Maybe the owner is a single man. This would be a good neighborhood to settle in …”
And she was off – we could marry at the Catholic Church four blocks up, our kids could walk to school every morning …
“How many single straight men do you know who pick artful numbers for the outside of their homes?” I asked, interrupting her fantasy.
But it was too late. She’d already concocted a scenario wherein I’d rent one half of the duplex and a tall, good looking, single man with a good job who used property as a side income would live in the other half and we’d meet and that would be that.
“And then we could just tear down the walls and turn the duplex into one big happy home!” I said, mockingly.
“Well, it would be a good story,” she replied demurely.
Ah yes – I am saving stories such as this for a book called “Possibilities Around Every Corner: One Family’s Journey to Marry off its Spinster.”
I see a trip to Sephora in my future July 13, 2008
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Listing is fun and easy.25 comments
Things that make summer awesome:
- Lounging around near the water with friends, fresh food and cold beers;
- Awesome flowy sundresses;
- Flip flops;
- Sunshine until 8 p.m.
Things that make summer suck:
- Forgetting to bring your make up bag inside from your car and returning to find your makeup and brushes coated with a light slimy layer of lipgloss because your MAC palette melted into a shiny soup of gunk.
